A Homo Bath
by Yukinachan72
Summary: John is severely sick, but his Dad can't take care him. Dave comes over and complains that John is really in need of a bath. Sick!John x Flirty!Dave ONESHOT


-turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:30 am-

TG: hey man hows it goin over there hmm  
EB: hey dave  
EB: nothing I'm just sick :B  
TG: whaat my best bros sick this can't be  
EB: well I am… :( I'm sorry..  
TG: dude why the hell are you sayin sorry for you're the one whos sick  
TG: are you okay  
EB: oops! hehe!:B yeah, I'm okay dave thanks for your concern  
EB: so unexpected though.  
TG: what best bros can't worry about each other  
TG: yes john I'm worried about you  
EB: haha! Sorry.  
TG: dude  
TG: just  
TG: stop  
TG: please  
EB: what?  
TG: can I come over I'm bored  
EB: but dave! I'm so sick. I've been throwing up…  
EB: I don't want you sick! D:  
TG: but your dad has night shift you said  
EB: yeah so?  
TG: you have no one taking care of you  
TG: you are all alone pukin and your cold and sad  
TG: and lonely  
TG: you need your best bro  
EB: but you will get sick dave!  
TG: but I'm strider  
EB: don't even say it  
TG: I'm gonna say it  
EB: no!D:  
TG: oh I am saying right now  
EB: ?  
TG: striders don't get colds hun  
EB: why did you just call me hun?  
TG: because you're my gay babe hun dorky derpy werpy  
EB: ugh dave its just weird can you call me something different  
TG: no  
EB: im not gay okay.  
TG: yes you are  
EB: no I'm not!  
TG: yes you are  
EB: nope  
EB: nope nope nope nope not gay nope  
TG: you wanna kiss my face but you wont admit it  
EB: dave will you please come over now? I've been waiting  
TG: what you wanna kiss the strider really  
TG: I never expected this to happen  
TG this is the greatest moment of my life  
TG: im crying here  
TG: gay babe hun actually likes me  
TG: he said he wants to kiss my face  
TG: yes finally oh yesss  
EB: seriously dave?  
EB: hurry up now  
TG: why are you in such a hurry  
EB: ugh  
TG: are you having problems  
EB: what?  
TG: are you having a problem  
EB: yes I'm sick and you won't hurry  
TG: uh not the the kind of problem, bro  
EB: dave  
TG: yeah?  
EB: I think I'm dying  
TG: no you're not  
EB: yes, I am. I'm so sick! I can't feel me  
TG: what the hell are you talking about  
EB: I feel dizzy and my spell check is on  
EB: I meant

TG: knock knock  
EB: whos there?  
TG: your knight in shining armor open the door  
EB: knight in shining armor who? :B  
TG: goddammit Egbert its snowing out here  
TG: can you please just open the door and let me in  
EB: wait.. you mean you're here at my house?  
EB: physically?  
EB: really?  
TG: yes bro brought me over I hope you like spaghetti  
EB: uhm. Im coming down hang on

Wow! You can't believe he really came and brought you spaghetti too. Wow..he really is the best bro.

You open the door to see a unbelievable sexy man who is smirking at you. What? He is not that sexy..aha. John, you are not a homo. Now stop staring at your poor little friend and let him in.  
You listen to the voice in your head, grinning like a dork.  
Dave is very attractive as always, but that doesn't mean you like him…It's just that he has the most cutest freckles ever and beautiful, most beautiful blonde hair. You wish you could just…maybe! Okay! You really can't hold it anymore.

You grasp onto your best friend, hugging him tightly. You are only tall enough to make it to his chest, though you have no room for complaining, because wow…he's smells like a Dave.

He chuckles and pats your back awkwardly, Dave was never one for hugs.

"You missed me that much, huh Egbert?" He jokes.

You blush as you realize maybe you have been hugging him for way to long.  
You utter a small and shy , "Hi.." to Dave.

"Hey" He waves smoothly as he sets his spaghetti and bag on the table.

You are about to say something, but now you feel the nausea coming through once again. You clench your stomach and run to the bathroom.

"Dude, you okay?" Dave runs after you and pats you on the back as you continue to empty everything in your stomach including the cake your dad forced you to eat. You are very glad that's out at least. What if it's not, though? What if the cake is now a part of you and you are soon going to turn into a moist Betty Crocker cake that's –gulp- John flavored?

Aha..No…That could never happen…right?

Soon as you are done puking everything out…(hopefully cake), Dave turns you around and you are met with him wiping your mouth with a wad of toilet paper.

"Seriously, Dave?" you choke out as he wraps your nose in the toilet paper.

"Now blow~!" He says with a 'baby voice'.

"Ew, Dave you are so gross and I can blow my own nose."

The blonde only smirks and shakes his head.

"Man.. you have some nasty boogers and goo in there, I'm just trying to help my best bro out, 'kay?"

You glare at him and finally blow your snot into the toilet paper.  
After you do so, Dave pats your head and says, "Good boy!"  
Oh, so now…you're a dog?

Dave turns the shower's water on warm, letting the steaming water pour into John's bathtub. After the water collects, Strider plugs the bath, just to make sure the water won't drain out.

"John-" Dave calls for his sick friend as he pours soap in the filling bath, allowing bubbles to form, "come here, John~"

"I-" A cough was heard from the pale clammy boy, frowning, he did the best he could and yelled. " I can't get up..I- I'm sorry, Dave" John went into a fit of coughs from straining his voice so much.

The Strider strided with a stride that had a stride better than any strider before into the room where John lay. He gazed at his friend behind dark shades, and a frown also appeared on his own pale lips.

Dave put his hands on his hips, "John, hon. I made you a bath. Want me to…carry you?"

The messy black-haired boy raised his eyebrow and giggled at the blonde. "Haha..Dave, it's alright. Do …I have to take a bath?" John pouted with big blue eyes, searching for an answer in Dave.

"John. You better begin stripping before I force you." The Strider stepped forward, a serious look on his face (although John couldn't see the seriousness because of those shades, anyways).

The boy blushed bright red and nervously chuckled, while scratching on the back of his head. "Okay..okay..I'll take a bath..hehe!" John sat up on his bed and groaned loudly, holding his head in traumatic pain.

"I can't… My head's gonna explode!" He cried.

Dave strides over to John, putting his arms under the boy's arms and legs. "Stay still…"

John is lifted from the bed, and Dave holds him to his chest with a gentle caress. He carefully brings his friend to the bathroom, setting the sickened boy on the floor.

"So," Dave said as he leaned over John, "work with me here, okay?"

At the "okay", Dave tugs on end of John's tee shirt, trying to peel it from his body.

John shrieks and pulls his shirt down. "No! I- Can you please..let me, uh, do it? I can take a bath myself..Thank you…-though. Heh heh." His blushed subsided somewhat, though it was still apparent.

"Shut up." Dave moved to pull off John's (pants?) (shorts?) (skirt?), but had problems removing the clothing from John's body.

With a sigh, Dave moved his hand under John's chin, forcing him to look up at him. Dave made a pouty face, his lips becoming almost fish like. "John. Let ME do it. You are sick, silly."

"Uh..I-I…think I feel, okay. Thanks, but..p-please let me do it by myself!" John's cheeks rose bright red as his heart thumped against his chest in complete panic.

Why does Dave so badly want to strip you? …It's nothing…gay, right? It's just a bro…being a bro. Would it be that strange..if he _let_ Dave strip..him? Okay, not strip, just-uh- take off his clothes? Yeah..haha. He really does feel exhausted, it wouldn't be that bad to just..y'know..

A finger moved to John's lips, and Dave grinned sheepishly. Dave didn't care if John wasn't ready to be seen naked. John needed a bath, and Dave was ready to give him the scrubbings.

"Want me to take the bath with you?"

(Strider's gonna do what a Strider's gonna do.)

"NO! Please, Dave! I don't want to take a bath with you! That's just…w-weird. It might be a bro thing for you.. but it's ..uh….just, I don't know." Dave frowned, getting lost in his own thoughts.

Dave gently cupped John's face, treating him as if he was fragile. He scanned the boy's flushed features.

"No, John. It ISN'T a 'bro-thing'. It is a thing, though. Like the thing I have for you. John, you Big Bag of Derp, I have a thing for you. Why else would I come to take care of you? Why else would you always worry me when you aren't well? Why else do I just want to kiss you…Why else would I be deeply in love with my best friend in the whole world?!"

"Haha.. Very funny, Dave. I don't have time for your irony right now, 'kay? I'm just gonna take a bath.." John slipped off his shirt, a pink color painted against his nose, while he had stood up pulling down his shorts.

John was _very_ frustrated in Dave. Him with all his stupid irony jokes. He almost believed him for a second! Ugh, stupid Dave.

Dave eyed John as John stripped. He felt himself becoming flushed as well. WAIT. WHAT? Dave Elizabeth Strider was getting FLUSHED?

"Need help?" He said, trying to keep his cool. Oh, but NOOO. He couldn't keep his cool. He was, in fact, getting very hot. Probably because he was watching his very hot friend undress. Probably because he was watching his first real crush get naked.

John sighed and slipped off his boxers as he slipped into the bathtub, glaring at Dave.

" I hate you."

"I love you."


End file.
